Dear Pre Baby Me,
I know you are extremely career minded and have no interest in having children yet.
However, this doesn’t mean that women who have children are your worst nightmare. Please be kind. Please be accepting and not ignorant.
Please don’t judge the mum on the train during your commute to work with the crying baby who’s hurting your wine induced headache from last night’s work drinks. It’s not her fault. Her baby is teething. She’s had no sleep because of it and now she has to drop her child off at childcare to go and work a full day. She’s exhausted before she’s even started.
Please don’t judge the mum on the plane either. I know you are one of those people who pray not to have 2.4 children sitting behind you on your regular flight to Spain every 4 months. But this is actually this family’s first holiday abroad and it’s been a nightmare to get the children up and ready, let alone onto the plane. In fact, this has been the furthest thing from relaxation for these parents and you only need to tolerate a bit of child’s play for 2 hours. Why not give the parents a break and give the kids some attention to stop annoying their mum and dad?
When you see a mum trying to control a toddler having a tantrum in a supermarket queue behind you; don’t roll your eyes and ‘tut’. Don’t think, ‘learn to control your child’ and stare. Understand that this toddler has actually been a little angel all day and is now hungry. His lunch is no doubt at the very bottom of her trolley and she can’t get to it right now. The toddler will have to wait. Why not let this mum go in front of you in the queue instead?
Please appreciate that children will be children but the automatic judgements you bestow upon their parents because of their children’s actions are ignorant and you have no right to criticise. You aren’t a bad person but you are not a mum yet and you have absolutely no idea what it’s like!
You really don’t know what you’re letting yourself in for. There’s a small part of me that is slightly jealous of you right now as motherhood is a full time job that will never ever stop. But it will be the making of you so don’t be so quick to dismiss it or other mums that are there already.
That said, enjoy the non parent life now. Seize the moment and enjoy wearing those size 10 jeans! Enjoy having weekends off and lovely lie-ins and make the most of all that precious, precious SLEEP!
Enjoy being able to make spontaneous plans with your disposable income and leave the house when you want to. But please also appreciate the mums around you that can’t. Your actions could make or break their day.
See you on the other side!