Turning the grand old age of 30.
Initially, the thought of turning the big 3.0 didn’t bother me in the slightest, but now the day is getting forever closer, it has given me the opportunity to reflect on things more.
Am I happy? Am I fulfilled? What have I achieved? Am I on the right track to achieving my dreams?
Now as a mum, questioning my happiness brings huge amounts of guilt and of course I am so happy and proud to have my little boy and incredibly supportive husband who I wouldn’t change for the world. But am I fulfilled? Personally – yes but professionally? – no. When you start your own business, if you have that inner strength and drive to succeed, there will always be something else to achieve and something else to do, and as I have only just started, there’s a LOT! It’s that niggling feeling that gets bigger and bigger unless you do something about it. That said, I have to remember my rule to start small and dream big without letting my new responsibilities as a mother and a wife dwindle- just the standard work/life balance dilemma!
What of my achievements so far? Well, my website and online shop will be launching soon which is a huge milestone for my 6 month old business that I have managed to reinvest in. I’ve now also set up this blog and even if one person other than my mum reads it and finds it useful in any way, that makes me happy!
Am I on the right track? This thought has circulated a lot in my head over the past few weeks. I’m self employed for the first time in my life and have a brand new family with the responsibility of a mortgage to pay. Not quite the ideal situation I’d like to be in financially and what mother wouldn’t want to give her child everything? I find myself regularly quoting Del Boy from Only Fools and Horses ‘One day Rodders we’ll be millionaires’ while window shopping! Although it’s really been the choices I have made so far in my 30 years of being on the planet that have led me here and I actually wouldn’t want it any other way.